Holy Political Swing Batman!

So we went from the fear of religion in schools and the permanent ban of abortion to driving cars that reach 60 in a little less than 8 minutes and pussy footing around global issues. It is sort of a wash I suppose.

See I am neither Democrat nor Republican, that way I can always complain and always be right. It is a formula most 20 something American’s do in order to seem justified in their inabilities to make it to the voting booth. We are something, the future of America and we don’t care to do more than complain until we have a mortgage, some kids, and a 401K to worry about.

I for instance have spent the last week and a half at work (I am a waiter) talking with other 20 somethings about the flaws of America’s current political directions. The directions which falls squarely on the shoulders of the party in power, just as it will when 20 somethings are complaining once the all Democrat House, Senate, and White House has really settled in around 2010.

But the Dem’s would be hard pressed to fuck up as bad as the Bush lead Elephants. I am not sure exactly how history will treat the Bush tenure, but I imagine it goes something like this.

Former Presidents George Bush’s former coke head alcoholic son gets elected in the closest election in American Presidential History. Promptly takes the longest vacation in Presidential history. Goes on to sit in front of an elementary class for 7 minutes after hearing the words “Mr. President we are under attack” from an aid. That utterance turns out to be the most devastating attack on main land American soil by an outside force in American History. In the wake of such “utterance” President Bush, in the name of justice, pushes through congress some of the most devastating acts against American civil liberties in American history.

These acts are used to track down Terrorists in Afghanistan. Afghanistan terrorists then somehow become the Iraqi leadership, which we invade to protect America from weapons of mass destruction we never find. When those weapons show up in North Korea years later Bush deems it is best to pursue diplomatic means with our new nuclear nemesis.

In the time between the David Blain misdirection of WOMD (I prefer Chris Angel Mind Freak when it comes to ridiculously creepy magician, but Blain is the house hold name) Bush manages to reach the lowest approval rating in American Presidential History. Somewhere near the percent of people who believed O.J. didn’t do it. Bush also makes America about as popular as a pedophile in an elementary school in the foreign diplomacy realm.

At home Bush almost seemingly ignored one of the most devastating natural disasters in American history, which prompted Egomeglamaniac Kanye West to declare “George Bush does not care about black people.” Bush has recently rounded out his Presidential portfolio by standing up for and supporting one of the most corrupt congresses in American history. A congress so bad it actually has a lower approval rating than Bush himself. In fact the sweeping Democratic victory has to be attributed to the year long chain of Republican scandal after Republican scandal hitting the front page of every news outlet outside of Fox News.

So Bush’s legacy has a lot phases followed by “in American history“, unfortunately those phrases allude to the ineptitude with which he has done his job.

So from elephants to donkeys we will swing to the other end of the political zoo. I personally am unimpressed. It seems like the political pendulum is always at one apex or another, never in the middle. With all the talk of moderates and partisan politics we sure never seem to have as many centralist politicians as I’d prefer. I know the argument is that they never get anything done, but in light of recent years not getting anything done might be an improvement over the production we have seen from the elected representatives we’ve got.

If the Democrats try to push their issues as hard as the Republicans you can expect a fun America run by Susan Sarandon. We will be driving cars I run faster than, eating foods with its main nutritional value coming from the bacteria and parasites our pesticides haven’t killed, and a lot of gay stuff happening. Not gay in its socially negative context, but rather gay as in this > <>. Don’t get me wrong civil liberties are something I am a huge proponent of, I just hope our blue buddies don’t forget their obligations to the economy and global positioning. The Republicans fucked those up good and plenty so they still need to be focused on. This time in a manor that doesn’t make our economy seem like one giant corporation or our foreign policy leaders as Yosemite Sam style war mongers.

In short a breath of fresh air may be a good jolt in the arm of civilians who are disenfranchised with their American Government. But if that air starts to smell like patchouli, the Dems spent to much time posturing themselves apart from Bush style politicians, or they are to scared to do their jobs, we will have made the change from a schoolyard bully to the kid that tried way to hard to make everybody like them. I don’t know about you but I hated both of those kids equally.