Bowling, Satan's game of marbles

I went bowling yesterday, for 5 hours. Today my body feels like a man beat my right side with a lead pipe filled with the blood of the innocent. Not good.

See I decides something. Bowling, a game with a fine mix of white trash and caveman elements, is actually the work of the devil. You take a shinny orb, that by the end of the day your are praying to for strikes, and throw is forcefully at a triangle of white pins. Hell the ball is even returned to you from some evil magic underground tunnel, I bet the Devil personally tee bags each ball before it is returned just to hammer his point home.

So Bowling combines praying to false gods, aggression, white trash fun, the Devil's dick bag, and the destruction of glowing holy white pins. Seems like the serious work of Beelzibub (that's the devil for you not in the know) to me. I mean think about it, what a crafty way to get people to join the dark side. One minute you think you are enjoying throwing polished balls on a greased lane and next thing you know, BAM, you rolled out the red carpet to you heart for Satan.

I hope the Christian extremists get wind of this, then they can stop shooting abortion doctors and start really cleansing the earth by blowing up the real threat to a perfect Christian world, Bowling Alley's